“This Is Who I Am” Delivers Reconciliation and Healing

Ramsey Faragallah (left) and Yousof Sultani (right) in ‘This Is Who I Am’. Photo: PlayCo/Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company

by Michele Markarian

“This Is Who I Am”, by Amir Nizar Zuabi. Directed by Evren Odcikin. Presented by PlayCo and Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company, in association with American Repertory Theater at Harvard University, the Guthrie Theater, and Oregon Shakespeare Festival through January 3.

The kitchens that Dad (Ramsay Faragallah) and Son (Yousof Sultani) inhabit in their respective homes on Zoom (Dad’s in Palestine, Son’s in Manhattan) could not be more different. Dad’s is old fashioned cabinetry and clutter, Son’s is modern white and clean lines. They have come before one another to recreate a recipe that the woman who was Dad’s wife/Son’s mother used to make. It is obvious from the start that she is the glue that held their family together, and without her, Dad and Son are struggling to make sense of their relationship.

The apprehension between the two men is obvious. Dad doesn’t think Son’s job as a curator is real work, despite the fact that it affords Son the opportunity to send money home for his father’s upkeep. Dad cannot understand why his son would choose to live so far from home, a home where Dad served time in prison for punching an Israeli soldier. He is subsequently revered by his village for his action, which was born not of machismo but of fear that his wife would never speak to him again if he didn’t. Son has no such compulsions. As he says of his homeland, “In this broth of humiliation and violence, I did not have a role.” He loves beauty, and art, and eschews the violence and fighting that he believes his culture – and his Dad – prize in a man.

The main source of tension between them involves the missing wife and mother, and her final three years of illness. Why, Dad wants to know, did the Son only visit twice during that time? “How did we raise a boy who cares only for himself?” Dad asks. After all, the mother and Son had a bond that prompts Dad to remark, sadly, “I was always an outsider to what you two had.” Over the course of 65 minutes, both men reveal the motivations behind their actions.

The actors create a credible and strong bond that translates through separation and time zones. Sultani demonstrates just the right amount of adult frustration and childlike dependency one has for an aging parent, while alternately protective and dismissive. Faragallah is rigid and pleading; while he doesn’t understand his son’s lifestyle, he would like to. His cooking is more intuitive; while his son measures things with pristine utensils, Dad uses his fingers to add ingredients, even improvising a salad spinner – which he finds ridiculous – with a towel and some arm movements. Mariana Sanchez’s set creates a nice contrast between the two men and their emotional lives.

Throughout the piece, the men measure, pinch, pour and roll the ingredients of the dish, fteer (which I will prepare at some point – it looks really good, if you follow their recipe). The tasks ground the actors, and even their silences work to create verisimilitude. Upon completion, as they smell the same memory from their respective homes, they are reminded of their shared love and loss. When Son suggests that they do it again next week with a recipe that Dad used to make, we are left feeling that the flow of communication between them will at least be more direct.

Full transparency, I am not a fan of Zoom theater; after working and meeting on Zoom most days, the last thing I want to see is a play on my computer screen. But “This Is Who I Am” totally works with the medium in a way that’s natural and watchable. We are not merely viewing scenes, we are witness to the actors’ reconciliatory efforts as they interact through a real-time Zoom meeting. It feels very personal and immediate. It’s the closest thing to live theater that I’ve seen since March. For this reason alone, you owe it to yourselves to watch. You won’t be disappointed.

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